Every pregnancy is different.

Here's the big difference between the pregnancies: HORMONES.

I know I was hormonal with Sydney, but only enough to make me cry through previews of movies and sappy commercials.

With Ethan, I am forboding postpartum depression. It happened 4 times during this pregnancy where I literally have gone off a deep end of 1) losing patience with someone 2) started yelling and screaming 3) hide in my room for the remainder of the day.

Friday was the worst because it resulted in a nose bleed. Now... most might say, "And let me guess, you can't even remember what it was about, can you?" Yes, in fact I can.

Nathan wanted the bushes trimmed so I contacted our old gardner. He gave me a song and dance to the tune of $65 (because he's so busy and has other houses to do). I told him thanks, but no. Nathan got upset at me. I got upset with him and told him if he wants something done around the house, stop taking me for granted and get it done himself. I can't read his mind that 65 dollars was ok... and I certainly couldn't read his mind when he later told me I should have called and asked him.... I simply said, "I'm sorry, but if it's left in my care, I can make this decision." He told me no. (NOTE: I made sure I wrote everything as it happened. Nathan gets upset when I exagerate. Exageration would have been "He basically told me I couldn't make decisions about things he wants done with the house. " That IS how it made me feel, but not what he said).

Did he have right to be upset? hmmm... on one hand, he wanted the bushes trimmed and couldn't do it himself. On the other hand, his wife is pregnant and has a deadline on Tuesday for a product launch at work, making her highly stressed out.

What happened?

Nathan hung up on me. Then I started calling him. And since he wouldn't pick up, I called him more. And more. He finally had to get on IM and tell me to stop. It was a horrible IM fight. I was screaming in the house... sure a neighbor would call 911. Especially after they saw a monitor fly out the front window. While that never happened, it should would have felt good.

Right about now at 1pm is when the nose starts to bleed. Then I just shut down, get work done. I crawled into bed around 4pm. and didn't leave til 6:30 the next morning.

Nathan did bring home flowers and snuggled that night. He knows it's pregnancy. I know it too... but it scares me. I went to councilling for a long time to stop these and they come back with a baby. It scares me to think what will happen when the baby does come. The good thing is we are both aware of what's going on and keep an eye out for it. The bad thing is I prepare for the worst, so I've already got my Lexipro on hand!

Why would I let the world know about this??? Because every woman goes through it!! And I have to remember it.