What could possible go wrong?

As I sat around last week thinking about all the things I had to prepare for while moving, my mind began to spin. How do I get the cats taken care of? How do I ensure my daughter has a smooth exit transtion from school? How do I organize my pantry so everything is packed in an orderly fashion?

When Ethan developed a spotty rash on Wednesday, I thought, "GREAT! the chickenpox??" Three other kids had it and I was told to take him to the doctor. Wew... narrowly escaped that drama... just allergies!

Friday when Sydney came home, she was down in the dumps... burning up... 102 fever. "Great! She can't go see her best friend tonight at the dinner I had planned with Savannah's mom!" By Saturday lunch, she was all better! Man, I'm getting really lucky here.

If there's a God.. he's really testing me I tell you! What could possibly go wrong at this point??

Sunday morning... Nathan's got to take Lucious to the airport. The flight is at 9:30am and so we send the kitty off with our fair goodbye's.. ta ta... "Oh, honey, did you remember the health certificate?" He responds, "Yep, I've got it in my back pocket."

I gather up the kids and we head to Panera bread. Taking these 2 to panera bread is a feat, in and of itself! I've got it all handled. We order the food and we find a table... Sydney FINAlLY has realized she can go to the bathroom BEFORE we eat rather than DURING the actual meal. So she's off in the bathroom while I sit with Ethan and wait for the food.

RIIIINNNNGGGGGGG... Why, it's Nathan calling me. Awwww.

WrongO. It's someone calling from his phone. I can barely hear him... "Excuse me maam. Your husband Nathan is really sick. (cell phone static) Taco Cabana (cell phone static). Emergency room. (cell phone static) cat in the car, Post Oak Circle on I 610. "

"What? My husband? You have him? Where is he?"

Thinking: Who is this calling? they haven't ID'd themselves.

"Who are you?"

"I'm the paramedic maam. He wants you to come get the cat. We're really concerned about the cat being in the car. Are you close?"

UMMMMMM NOOOOOO.... I'm 20 miles away!

HUH??? Where's my daughter? Did she fall in the toilet?

"Sir, What kind of car is my husband driving?"

"A white acura maam."

"And what's really important in that car?" I asked.

"A big cat." he replies. He's passed the test.

(ok... because he's not telling me what hospital they are taking him to. They are telling me these really weird directions TO PICK UP THE CAT??? So in my paranoid mind, someone has hyjacked my husband, they are calling me from his phone and trying to get me down to this area with my kids so they can rape me and sell my kids to the highest bidder.)

Did I forget to tell you I hear this massive amount of hacking in the background? "Can I talk to my husband?" NO maam... he can't talk.

"And you're the paramedic?" "Yes. Maam."

AND where's my daughter???

"I'm sorry sir, you'll have to give me a minute.. You've caught me in Panera bread and my food isn't here yet and I've my daughter is in the bathroom." I go to grab Ethan and walk back to the bathroom.


"Sydney, WHEREAREYOU????"

"OH MaMAAAAA... I"M STUCK!" That's right... on the phone with the paramedic... not sure WHAT's going on with nathan and sydney is STUCK in the bathroom.

"Hold on sir. I need to crawl and get my daughter unstuck from the bathroom stall."

"No problem, maam."

I get sydney out of the bathroom and ask Panera to wrap my food and bring it all to the car. As I'm getting the kids into the car, the parametic says I need to get the extra set of keys if i'm to get the cat (Nathan has his keys with him and everyone is telling me to take the cat to the airport.)

Sorry? My husband is in an ambulance on death's door (or something unknown) and I'm supposed to take the cat to the airport? With 2 kids? MY head is spinning!!!

First thing first... get the keys. I get everyone in the car and memorize the directions the paramedics tell me where the car is. Go I10 east, take 610 North. Get off on Wood-something. Take PostOak North right. Take a left on Post Oak Circle. Got IT~!

As I'm driving back to the house, my mind is in chaos mode.. WHAT Is going on? How am i going to do this with a 3 year old and an infant??? Then i see my neighbor driving away... I HONKKKKKKK... Tell her the story and she turns around (Did i mention she's a SAINT?) and she takes both kids.

OK... get on the phone with my parents, tell them. Next, call his mom. His dad answers. "Is Pat there?" "pat who?" "IS PAT there?" "Pat, no pat lives here." "WHERE IS PAT?" "You mean Patricia?" "UGHHHH... Where's Rich? Who IS THIS????" "This is Rich." Oh...

"Rich.. Nathan's really sick and has been rushed to the emergency room. i don't know what's wrong with him. We will not be bringing the cat today."

He responds. "Oh. Ok." No... let me know what happens, nothing... sigh....

Ok.. I'm driving down 1-10 East. Next call is 411 to the hospital, "Hi.. Where are you???"

"We're off Gessner, but it's closed." So I get off on the next exit and miss the turnoff through a stripmall and have to drive around a really big mall to get back to the hospital!

Finally I get to see Nathan. He's got Virtigo. He's soooo sick.... I give the insurance information and my license to the lady who needs it. I gather up his cell phone and keys. He's left his wallet in the car, iwth the cat!.

But he's so sick... he's shivering and he's throwing up a lot. He's hooked up to IV's. Once he's stabilized I think I'll go get the cat. I head on out.

As I'm approaching the 610 to go north, I"m on the phone with my parents, "YOu wouldn't believe this... I FORGOT MY license with the admin staff!!!" I'm on the 610 going north and I'm not finding this "Wood-something" street. I call my parents. "Can you google map Post Oak circle???"

After about 5 mintues of them booting up the computer they find it for me. I'm almost to the airport turnoff! Obviously I need to turn around. "Ok honey" my dad says, "we found it! Its' one exit south of the 1/10 and 610 interchange!"

OF COURSE! Could anything be worse???? Oh, the health certificate is in Nathan's backpocket.

Wow... the good news is that he can't blame me not getting to the airport because of my license only... he was confiscating the health certificat on his body!

I find the cat. It's a little obscure this place. I wonder, "Does my husband have a girlfriend down here?" It's close to his work... it's by all these apartments... how in the world could he end up here???? I was obviously not functioning on all cylinders due to the 3 glasses of wine and large chocolate cake I consumed the night before.

Get the cat and the wallet. His nice, beautiful white Acura RL is crawling with regurgitated breakfast burritos.

Back to the hospital... RING goes the cell phone. Neighbor on the phone asking how everything is going. Neighbor 2 on the phone with her telling me she's going to the airport and can help out.


Ok... back to the hospital... Cat's in the car, in the shade, with water and food. windows open.

Nathan's shivering and I've now gone 4 hours without pumping or feeding ethan.

I call Neighbor 2, "Bobby! Can you come get the cat?" Sure hon! Wew.

Back inside, the doctor says it's a bad case of Virtigo and he'll be admitted. I just want to get him admitted. Then I'll go home, feed kids and we'll get things wrapped up for the night.

Neighbor on the phone telling me she can't get ethan to take a bottle... what's the trick?

Trick? Sorry, he's my Boob-man... I don't do bottles! "Ummmm... I think I remember a bit of bouncing on the knee. And he likes it warm." Hope that helps! By the way... "YOURE AMAZING! Thank you thank you thank you!"

At about 1:30 he's walking around and I can take him home. We go home. Do you know how many times he's told me in the last 5 hours, "SHIT, now we have to get the cat back into the cage and get him to the airport."

Last time I checked, he's just a cat... not a worry of mine right now. I've got to figure how to get the car out of the Downtown area and get it cleaned...

Get him home and he dies.

to be continued...

Oh... sorry, he didn't literally die... he's just sleeping. There's one more drama involving 911 in this story!